Hey there. I feel like I don't know how to blog anymore! Is anyone still out there? I felt like checking in. Hi. I'm a bit Medium overloaded this week, I have committed myself to writing/publishing every day for 30 days just to see if I can boost my stats/reads there, which have really flatlined in the past few months.
I'm not alone, it seems an issue other people are dealing with too, but I feel like it's reinforcing how caught up in the money aspect of the site I became for a while. To be fair the community aspect was great for a while too, but a lot of writers I like have jumped ship.
The thing is if I keep it all in perspective, I still made way more there than I ever have blogging, it has pushed me to write in a more editorial style, and feel more confident as a writer. So it wasn't all for nothing if for some reason it all goes boom (changes in CEO, half-priced memberships and mass firings are never good omens for a company are they?).
Anyway what is new with me? Not much, you know. Joined the dead dad club this year, yes it's been a few months it's still weird to try to move forward from and hard and the estrangement issue has its own grief ripples that sting in a way I'm not convinced "normal" grief does. Or it's just different.
What else. I caught pneumonia this summer, that was fun! Really made my vacation a peach.
hmm. 2022, not my best year really! Things can only get better? Keeping in tradition with me dealing with possible cancer shit at the holidays, I have an appointment in December to have a weird scabby freckle looked at. I have been ignoring it for a while. In my defense, this year was a lot of back burnering. Plus it's stupidly annoying to try to get a face-to-face appointment with a doctor where I live right now.
I don't feel very Christmassy despite watching a shit ton of hallmark and Netflix Christmas movies. I am in the middle of the Freddie Prinze one right now, it's ok. I feel depressed not spending it with my Mom, I don't want to go to my in-laws so that's causing tension because we are kind of overdue to spend one there and I just want peace and quiet and my own house and going there means taking the train and staying for a week at least and I'm sick of catching germs on public transportation and basically I need a vacation from my life is all.
I have been thinking about New York a lot recently. The first time I visited New York was at the holidays and I loved living there during this time of year, especially even though I totally took it for granted and was probably too busy being young and drinking in dive bars or whatever to really see all of the touristy sites. I do miss the West Village at Christmas though. My acting school was there and the surrounding streets are some of the coziest and cutest in the city. It's easy to romanticize the past but I do miss it more recently than I have in a while.
Anyway I hope this year wasn't a terrible one for anyone who might be reading this, and if it was I wish you a much better 2023. Christ how is that real?! In two years I will be a BIG NUMBER birthday. Life goes so effing fast after a certain age.
Not very cheery, sorry! Thanks for reading.
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