Beauty Routines I'm Too Lazy For

Forgive the lack of blogging, but it appears summer has come early in Aberdeen – 18 degrees (Celsius, which is um…60 something?! 13 years living here and it still does not exactly compute!). The only thing I know is it’s warm enough to shed my coat!) today, and yesterday was glorious. So my brain is scattered, I’m staring out the window wanting to run outside at look at cherry blossoms.

Yesterday we went for a walk to Duthie Park. It’s one of Aberdeen’s nicer parks, it’s the nearest one to us, and it’s great for dog watching (we can’t have a dog just yet so we spend a lot of time ogling other people’s). There was of course a teeny tiny French Bulldog puppy, strutting his stuff as though he were the lord of the manor, and I dare say he grabbed the o.h.’s heart – he’s dead set on adopting a staffy when we can, as am I, we are very anti-breed discrimination, but ever since my encounter with the French bulldog puppy in Florida, for which he was not present, a mini (imaginary!) battle has been ensuing. So someday victory will be mine, and we will have both! (mwa ha ha ha!).

I was struck yesterday by how much the beautiful weather made me care less about my appearance being polished in any way – much as it does on holiday. The desire to get outside in the sunshine meant a rather slapdash attempt to cover blemishes, no need to faff with hair as I will just overheat so up it goes in a bun-tail (I can never quite commit to a ponytail, feels super girly, nor to a straight up bun, so I end up with a sort of nest on top of my head!), a pair of sunglasses and we’re off. The poor o.h. probably wonders why this can’t be the case year round (I may be guilty of keeping him waiting on occasion...).

Which got me thinking about just how complicated our beauty routines have become, or are supposed to have become in recent times. I tend to stick to a fairly straightforward, “no makeup” makeup look, but even that takes near enough a half hour. On a rare night out or for a special occasion I will put in a bit more effort, and it does feel like so much work. When I read beauty blogs I am just kind of cowed sometimes by how much prep people require to feel like they can face the world – something I’m not immune to myself, but still I’m too lazy generally for many things that now seem to be seen as essential steps in many women's routines. Is it just me or does this stuff just require far too much time and energy?

Beauty Routines I am too lazy for:

Eyelash curling: I just have never seen the miraculous results I’m meant to with this faffy, poke myself in the eyeball with metal nonsense. And don’t even get me started on false eyelashes – yes they can look amazing, yes I have several of them lurking in a drawer somewhere, but I never have that extra half hour to attempt them. A couple of swipes of mascara will just have to do.

Lipliner: Yes it makes my lips look better. No, I can’t be bothered with it. Sorry world, you can deal with my bleeding lipstick.

Contouring: My face is round. Painting stripes, however subtle and blended, on it, does not change this fact. Sure, I like a bit of  blush or bronzer, but the sheer terrifying situation of Kardashian style contouring that now proliferates many blogs and Pinterest boards is frankly the stuff of nightmares –we end up with these faces that look less human, more like that creepy puppet in Saw.

Primer: Of both the face and eyelid kind. Yes they make makeup sit better. No, I don’t have time for them either. The Benefit Porefessional is one of the few that I like – it’s tinted so it can actually be worn alone, which is what I tend to do with it when I remember to use it. I can heartily recommend the Urban Decay eyeshadow one. But I cannot be bothered using it! The world will just have to deal with my smudged eyelids.

Eyeliner that isn’t a pencil: I have approximately half a dozen liquid eyeliners, which is almost the exact number of times I have worn the stuff. I’ll get amnesia in a chemists every so often, see a new “easy, glide on” liquid eyeliner, put it in my basket, get it home, attempt to draw a straight line, end up looking like Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?, wipe it all off, throw it in a drawer and forget about it (until I buy another one!). The same can be said for the gel eyeliner you draw on with a brush – more idiot proof, but still too much of a faff for me. Clinique quickliner is all there is for me, fast and easy.

Clarisonic/Face/Bodybrushing of any kind: So I won a Clarisonic in a contest. I was so excited! 

I used it for a couple of weeks and then forgot all about it. It seemingly always needs to be charged (so much wooork). I use it once a month or so when I remember. It does actually get rid of blackheads beautifully, something that unsurprisingly are re-appearing on my face due to my lack of Clarisonic use! And then there’s body brushing – my Clarisonic has a brush for body brushing – oh please, like I can be bothered changing the brush head for that! I do have one of those paddle handle ones that supposedly make Elle MacPherson cellulite free at fifty (along with her vitamin powders and um…supermodel genes!). Body brushing does feel nice. It also is two minutes of my life I don’t have!

So I don't know, am I alone in feeling lazy for not mastering or caring enough about these sorts of things? Are there any beauty routines you just can’t be bothered with? Am I missing a trick here, sell me on one of these if so! I would love to master liquid eyeliner, I think it looks so pretty, and yes I have watched numerous Lisa Eldridge videos on the subject, including this one where Alexa Chung does her own liquid eyeliner as if she’s asleep (grr!). Are some girls just born with this ability? Should I be content with my slightly bedraggled smokey eye and swipe of bronzer or should I make more of an effort? Talk to me in the comments! :-)